There is one family in our congregation that is celebrating a very special anniversary this summer. Mukashyaka and her children have been in the United States for ten years!
Many of you might not know or remember how Mukashyaka’s family came to be with us. During 2015 there were many, many migrants attempting to flee by land and boat to developed countries in Europe, particularly in the Mediterranean area. Migrants risked their lives in the search of better living conditions. Many of these attempts were not successful, with heartbreaking results. We remember the photo of a toddler washed up on the beach; he died along with his mother and brother. First Presbyterians were moved by these tragedies and committed to sponsoring a refugee family who could then immigrate legally to the U.S.
Rev. Ernie Thompson and Bruce Gibson formed a team to pray and learn what sponsorship would entail. The team included doctors, nurses, teachers, a retired federal employee and other church leaders. We hooked up with the local refugee resettlement agency, Interfaith Refugee Ministry (IRM). After determining what resources we could offer, we requested a family and expected one to come from the Middle East.
To our surprise and elation, we were informed that we would be sponsoring a large family from the Democratic Republic of Congo. The family of seven, consisting of a single mom and six children ages 1-15, would be arriving in June, 2016. We were told that since FPC was a large congregation, we were perhaps more equipped to take a large family than some of the smaller churches in town.
Now that we knew our assignment, we set about furnishing the apartment that IRM had provided for the first few months. We purchased car safety seats, basic clothing and diapers. We researched the schools that the children would be attending and got ready to enroll them. We found out about Medicaid and food stamps. We were ready, and just waiting for the family.
On June 22nd, the family flew into New York and were admitted into the United States. They were due in Wilmington on June 23, so our team gathered at the airport with welcome signs, big smiles, and a lot of enthusiasm. Finally, a mom carrying an infant with five children trailing her arrived in the waiting area. Our family was here!
Part Two:
After Mukashyaka’s family arrived in Wilmington from Rwanda on June 23, 2016, with one duffle bag for six people, volunteers from First Presbyterian went about introducing them to their new world. This started with something as simple as showing the family how to use seat belts and placing the two littlest ones into car safety seats. This was all new for them!
At their new apartment, the first thing we did was offer refreshments. The ice cubes in the sodas confused the older children. They took great joy in running up and down the stairs to look at their new beds. We had to teach them about the thermostat and how to work the oven and what to flush in the toilet. We had to procure clothing, hygiene and cleaning supplies. Much of this, including the furniture in the apartment, came from First Presbyterian donors.
In the early days there were a lot of appointments. The family was connected with physicians at Med North and got routine refugee checkups and immunizations at the Health Department. It was about this time that we learned – much to Mukashyaka’s surprise – that there was a seventh baby on the way!
Our nurse volunteers escorted the family members to all of their appointments, including the high risk pregnancy clinic. This was all new because Mukashyaka had never had prenatal care in the refugee camp in Rwanda. Her first five babies were born at home on unknown dates, with only Mukashema born in a clinic due to an emergency during labor. You can imagine how overwhelming it was when Betty was born by scheduled c-section at New Hanover Regional Medical Center! Our nurse volunteers stayed with Mukashyaka the entire time, from check-in to bringing her and Betty home.
And school – can you imagine how difficult it was to enroll the children without birth certificates? The children’s ages were just guesses. Even though schooling in Rwanda had been minimal, the older children were placed in grades according to their estimated ages.
The children did the best they could in school while learning English. FPC members acted and continue to act as liaisons between the family and the schools. The three oldest girls managed to earn their high school diplomas which would help them get employment. The fourth girl, Dusabe, worked hard enough to get into college, where she’s now a second year student.
Mukashyaka herself found a position as a housekeeper/laundry manager at a local hotel, a job she’s held for nine years. This is quite an accomplishment for someone who never had the opportunity to go to school and doesn’t read or write in any language. She is a role model for her children.
On the third anniversary of the family’s arrival in Wilmington, six of the children were baptized at FPC. This was a memorable day for the family and us. Dusabe also completed Confirmation Class and became a full-fledged member of the church.
Meanwhile, FPC volunteers continue to support the family by providing transportation; attending medical appointments, hospitalizations and surgeries; communicating with schools; helping with hosting holiday meals; providing camps and activities; playing Santa Claus; and so much more.
Next week, there will be more about how and why we still support this family after ten years. And there will be information about how FPC members can get more closely involved.
Part 3 – Why are we still helping, and what can we do?
There are those who might question, and justifiably so, why we are still helping Mukashyaka’s family 10 years after they resettled from Congo. After 10 years, most refugee families have hit their stride and can support themselves.
The reason is this. Mukashyaka arrived at the refugee camp in Rwanda a very damaged person after years of trauma and running. She had never attended school of any kind, doesn’t read or write in any language, and doesn’t have many of the skills the American culture demands. Like many women, she wanted to grow her family, but marrying would have possibly jeopardized her refugee status so she remained single as she gave birth to seven children. She has been on her own, responsible for a large family, with very limited earning ability.
Although Mukashyaka has worked hard at the same job for nine years, her wages are far, far below the poverty level for the current family of five. Our church subsidizes a large chunk of the rent. Tommy King works long hours to ensure that the family is current with Medicaid and nutrition assistance. Church volunteers help to make each birthday and Christmas a happy one with generous giving.
So we’ve covered the basics, but it takes a great deal more for a family to thrive. A whole team of us has invested in this family’s future, doing whatever we need to do to help the children grow and develop into responsible and contributing adults. We want them to have opportunities that our own children would have, and it takes a village for that.
How can you help? Right now it would be wonderful to have tutors in lower level math and English. You could include some or all of the children in your own family activities such as beach trips and visits to playgrounds. Take them for a ride on your boat! Show them how to fish. Play tennis with Betty, who is just learning but very interested.
Financial ways to help right now include contributions to tuition; Dusabe is a sophomore at Chowan University and needs help to fill the gap between scholarships/ grants and total cost. Gift cards to help with college expenses, paying for gasoline, and maintaining the car would be very welcome. Helping to fulfill the Christmas wishes of the younger kids just feels good. Paying registration fees for camps and lessons will help prevent summer boredom.
If you’d like to provide direct help to the family, either financially or in person, you can contact Betsy Wilcox.
Jesus said in Matthew 25:40 “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Let us continue to serve Jesus by investing in this family.
